Top Ten List:
How to Make a Singaporean Quit

From the Home Office at Caldecott Broadcast Centre, here's the Top Ten List.

Top Ten Reasons why TCS stars are quitting.

Do we really want to know? We do? Okay.

Heeeeeere we go,

10. "Most Powerful Dude on TV" title already taken.

9. "Have to wake up so early to do AM Singapore, and people still complain you have no personality. Well let them try to have a personality at 6.30 in the morning! Now where's my damn coffee!"

8. Can't have own talk show because TV12 didn't bring in any other talk show for TCS to copy.

7. Have to crossover to TCS8, learn Mandarin and get criticised for bad pronunciation.

6. People just kept talking about your boob job, and how your nipples show on TV.

5. Audience obviously unfamiliar with the Sylvester Stallone School of Minimalist Acting you have mastered, and keep insisting that you show emotions when acting.

4. If you can sell TCS storylines and plots believably, you might as well sell insurance and make more money.

3. TCS rejected your idea for a Titanic Fantasy episode with PCK as Jack, and Rosie as Rose. Star cruises also declined sponsorship.

2. Sick of the bickering between Zoe and Fann.

And (drum roll)... the number one reason why TCS stars are quitting...

1. What's the point? Jamie and Vernetta are hitched.

[Cue music, "Fame"]

THE END

Contributed and Written by Gabriel "Loco Lobo" Goh