Singapore National Education
Part 9

by mr brown

(Feel free to distribute for non-profit and non-commercial purposes but keep my byline, email address and URL intact please. Thanks)

OK, OK, so I'm late with this issue. I had to do some really important things, like housework, office work and talking to my wife (she says I love my Mac more than I love her, I had to prove her wrong and show her that I love my Mac _as much as_ I love her). To make up for the lateness of this instalment, I have made this issue longer -- yes! it is now _26_ instead of the usual _25_ points!

But seriously folks, this issue really is longer. Hope you have as much fun reading it as I did putting it together.

grace,

mr brown.

I have also learned lately:

1. That Ann Kok now plans to "bare her soul" on Showbuzz, after baring her teeth ("don't mess with me, okay?") and after baring her, ah, assets. I guess she needed to get things off her chest.

2. That by the year 2000, we must start queuing for National Day Parade tickets in February.

3. That if the Govt really starts to get serious about sacking incompetents in the Civil Service, a lot of people in the HDB will get it in the rear just on the bad publicity alone.

4. That the Govt is still giving lame excuses for not trying the Pay-as-you-bid system for COEs.

5. That someone in Parliament actually agrees with our low assessment of Singtel ("SING their own praises and TELL lies"). Maybe his handphone was one of those affected...

6. That Mah Bow Tan wants us to believe that the Govt will lose $30 million in the _first year_ of the Road Pricing Scheme through giving out _ONE-TIME_ road tax rebates to motorists. However, it is hard to believe there is no revenue to be made through the Scheme since, we motorists will have to pay them back in ERP fees for the rest of our driving lives, and not just in the _first year_.

7. That to this day, I still haven't figured out how Wonder Woman locates her Invisible Aeroplane when she needs to fly it.

8. That it may not be so wise of Creative Technology's boss, Sim Wong Woo, to so quickly and indignantly brush off rival Venture Manufacturing's new NovaStation software, saying that it being a threat is a joke.

He forgets that not so long ago, Creative was a small upstart too. And even more recently, Creative's _share price_ was a joke, and jokes can happen than once.

9. That in order to seem like a bigtime player, it is more stylo for Creative Technologies to consider Intel its biggest rival/threat, just like the cockroach considers the T-Rex its biggest rival/threat.

10. That the the series "Shiver" should take some cues from real life in Singapore...

a. "What if, you raised the Road Pricing charges on the Central Expressway, but no one changed their driving patterns?"

b. "What if, you line up for 12 days for National Day Parade tickets only to find out they had been issued last month?"

c. "What if, you advertised "Jurassic Park" all month on TV with bad trailers but no one tuned in on the day it screens?"

d. "What if, you send a reporter to the Cannes Film Festival for Showbuzz and no one, not even the waiter in a restaurant there wants to give you the time of day?"

e. "What if, you find a $60 RPS disc and use it on your car, but the LTA sends a police car to nail you and jail you for cheating?"

f. "What if, you gave up your queue in the HDB because you could not afford the $5000 deposit, but the HDB changes the policy later to allow the deposit to be paid by CPF?"

g. "What if, you charged obscene prices for your properties but no one buys them, and the government is ignoring your claims of a property market collapse?

h. "What if, you came up with a brilliant moneymaking scheme to make car buyers pay for a license to _buy_ a car, but one day, no one wants to pay the ridiculous spiralling prices anymore and _everyone_ puts in a $1 bid for their cars?

11. That after earning obscene profits from ever-rising property prices, the Real Estate Developers Association of Singapore (REDAS) now wants us to believe that Singapore is heading for a property market collapse, even though they can still ask for record-breaking prices for their _leasehold_ properties.

12. That when you cannot get people to buy your $1000 per square foot properties, you do not lower your prices but get an MP to tell the Government that a property collapse is going to happen. This is what is called a market-driven economy.

13. That it is not impossible that in the near future, when chicken rice stall holders cannot sell their $50 chicken rice, they too will not lower their prices but will ask an MP to tell the Government that the chicken rice market will collapse.

14. That people are willing buy teddy bears that cost more than an HDB flat and you ask why property developers refuse to lower prices?

15. That people are willing buy teddy bears that cost more than an HDB flat and you ask why COE price rises aren't showing any signs of abating?

16. That market demand should determine the price of COEs but for $1000 psf properties, the Govt should step in to prevent a "market collapse".

17. That Singaporeans are looking forward to a collapse in the _COE_ market.

18. That REDAS thinks Singaporeans have the IQ of Cream Cheese.

19. That in the eyeball match between the property developers who refuse to lower prices and the buyers who are waiting for a price drop, the former blinked.

20. That when modem manufacturers and local ISPs (Internet Service Providers) offer you faster! better! best buy! 56kps access, and charge you more for the "faster" modem and "faster" access, they mean the "possibility" of 56kps access. If you get 33.6kps, tough.

21. That no one from REDAS asked the Govt to step in and correct spiralling property prices (an overheating property market, perhaps?) when obscene profits were being made.

When will we hear the property developers plea:

"Oh no, the prices are too high for the common man to afford! Please, Govt, please step in and stop this bubble before it bursts! Oh, for the sake of the nation, disregard our profits!"

22. That Diana Ser says Nikki Taylor is "out of shape" in Fashion Unlimited, despite Nikki looking better (and taller and better proportioned) after recently having _twins_ than Diana who has had no other excuse.

23. That given enough time and fame, most sweet young newcomer things on television become superbitches and prima donnas faster than you can say "wannabe".

24. That when a US diplomat criticises Malaysia, we are to believe that our own tiny little country's politicians had something to do with it.

<<<<CLARIFY STATEMENT, SAYS UMNO YOUTH

by Jacqueline Ann Surin

Kuala Lumpur: Umno Youth has questioned the timing of US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright's remark that the Malaysian call for a review of the UN Universal Declaration on Human Rights does not reflect the voice of Southeast Asian nations.

Its chief Datuk Ahmad Zahid Hamidi feared that Albright might have a hidden agenda in making the statement after her meeting with Singapore elder statesman Lee Kuan Yew.

"We hope it is not a case of another Asean country stabbing us in the back right after the Asean Foreign Ministers met and agreed on the need for the review," he told reporters after attending the movement's economic council meeting to discuss the currency speculation affecting Southeast Asian countries.

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Dr Mahathir Mohamed called for the review last week saying the 50-year old declaration was no longer suitable.

Zahid said Albright made the comment upon arriving in Singapore soon after attending the Asean Regional Forum and Post-Ministerial Conference here this week.

He said he feared Albright made the statement after hearing similar sentiments expressed by Lee during their meeting.

We hope the statement can be clarified. We want to know the real reason behind her statement, he added.>>>>

25. That when you need to throw the heat off your Apology Fiasco, the best thing to do, as a politician and leader of a Youth Movement who hates your guts for it, is to find some new distraction, like blaming your neighbour's politicians for American political criticism.

26. That it is not impossible that in the near future, Singapore might be blamed by Umno Youth for instigating Soros to attack their currency, for the Second World War and for Mad Cow disease.

All fan mail and soft toys may be directed at mrbrown@mrbrown.com

Other writings may be found in the Website "BrownTown" at http://www.mrbrown.com

Singapore National Education Part 9

Singapore National Education
Part 9