Singapore National Education
Part 5

by mr brown

(Feel free to distribute for non-profit and non-commercial purposes but keep my byline, email address and URL intact please. Thanks)

I have also learned lately:

1. That when hard liquor and mixers are repackaged in a cute soft-drunk, uh, soft-drink can, they become _fun_, _safe_ and _cool_ to drink. Truly fun in a can!!!

2. That the war on young people taking up smoking and Ecstasy rages on, while alcohol is being marketed as soft drinks.

3. That it is okay to target teens and young kids to drink hard liquor and mixers by repackaging them in cute cans.

4. That Fann Wong can be Xiao Long Nu (Little Dragon Girl).

5. That people actually passionately care who plays the part of Xiao Long Nu but do not know the name of their MP.

6. That Diana Ser can sing.

7. That winning a chance to dance the _Macarena_ with _James Lye_ was considered a grand prize.

8. That Singaporeans can afford million-dollar private homes but will not spend money to install adequate security.

9. That Singaporeans have alarms in their multi-thousand dollar cars but not in their multi-million dollar homes.

10. That the days of Pirate Taxis like those featured in the LTA ads are actually returning, but under a new name -- Share-a-Cab.

11. That Taxi drivers all break for supper between 2300h to 2359h.

12. That Taxi drivers are so loyal to their regular customers that they will turn down other customers who will not pay them a few extra #!@?&*#!!% bucks, in order to pick these regulars up.

13. That Taxi drivers are loyal to their regular customers only to the point where the flag-down customer will pay them the few extra #!@?&*#!!% bucks that the Regulars pay them.

14. That these days, in contrast to the Pirate Taxis of old, where you are heading, the colour of your skin, or how much extra you are willing to pay, now determines whether the Taxi driver will give you the honour of taking his cab.

15. That in the old days, Pirate Taxis were honest enough to make no pretense of operating illegally, but these days, Legitimate Taxis hide behind the Share-a-Cab Scheme to fleece you. This is what the Government means by a World-class Public Transport System.

16. That Retirees who have slogged most of their lives for the Nation's prosperity do not deserve to drive their 10-year-old cars because cars are a luxury.

17. That people will pay good money to play with a computer pet, while others kill and torture real cats and dogs.

18. That everybody loves to read Tan Sai Siong's conscience-stirring columns.

19. That "mania" is an evil evil word in Malaysia.

20. That in Malaysia media, words like "mania" (as in KRU Mania Koncert) and "morphin" (as in Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers) are not allowed but "Dunhill Double" and "sponsored by Salem High Country" are.

21. That you can get arrested for participating in "decadent" Beauty Contests in a country where Pornography is sold almost openly.

22. That ever since the Elections, life in Singapore is looking up -- Water is up, Taxi fare is up, Public Bus fare is up, MRT fare is up, petrol is up, getting married and applying for a flat is up, ALS and RPS is up, COE is up, hawker food and soft drink price is up. The only down is Singapore Telecom shares.

"Singaporeans are fed
Up with the Govt!"

23. That many cars suddenly break down along the CTE just before the RPS gantry every weekday morning between 0900h-0930h for no apparent reason.

24. That the fine of $70 for getting caught just one day of 30 days without an ALS/RPS license can buy you the license for the _whole month_ and still have change left over for a good lunch.

25. That owning a Handphone at 15 years old to look hip can be hazardous to your health, especially when 4 other young thugs decide that _they_ too want to look hip at your expense.

All fan mail and soft toys may be directed at mrbrown@mrbrown.com

Other writings may be found in the Website "BrownTown" at http://www.mrbrown.com

Singapore National Education Part 5

Singapore National Education
Part 5