Top Ten List:
Love Me Slap Me

From the Home Office at MPH, here's the Top Ten list:

Top Ten ways the traumatised kid has been affected since being slapped by stranger in bookstore.

You heard about this. A man got so annoyed by some brat's behaviour, he actually slapped the kid. Twice. I think he shouldn't have slapped the boy. He should have slapped the mother. Although the kid has been named in our press, World Wide Sarong (tm) will refrain from naming the kid. It's not to protect his privacy. We just think the name is too pretentious. Anyway, now the poor kid's traumatised - won't go into a bookstore now. I guess it's now safe for us grown-ups to go there then. So how else has he been affected?

Heeeeeeeere we go,

10. Has taken to abusing his maid in the hopes that the newspapers would not be able to photograph or name him.

9. Declared that he will be breaking his bond, after all he has been slapped and named in public, what's he got to lose?

8. Has written a song, "My hurt will go on".

7. Now wants a million dollar violin. Or a teddy bear that won't slap him in his dreams.

6. Been begging at City Hall MRT with a sign, "Traumatised by public slapping. Thank you for your donation."

5. Lucky Plaza Management has decided to ban him from the shopping centre as well.

4. Has taken up new hobby to release his stress and hostility: shooting foreign workers with air pistol.

3. Contacted Michael Fay about forming a support group for victims of big bullies.

2. Was caught by the police in a public toilet committing a lewd act... alone.

And (drum roll)... the number one way being slapped in public has changed the kid's life...

1. Has demanded that IMF implement reforms in bookstores.

[Cue music: "Born to be wild"]

THE END

Contributed and Written by Gabriel "Loco Lobo" Goh