Top Ten List:
No Sex Please,
We're Singaporeans

From the Home Office at the Istana, here's the Top Ten List.

Top Ten reasons why there are no Sex Scandals in Singapore

Bubba is in trouble over his sexual liaisons - again! Gary Hart got torpedoed by a sex scandal. JFK was rumoured to be linked with MM. So how come the American leaders have all the fun? Why aren't there any sex scandals involving our political leaders? Let's find out.

Heeeeeere we go,

10. Can't even be naked in own home, how to have sex?

9. Ah Lians don't exactly turn our leaders on.

8. Our leaders are cloned; no need for sex.

7. Hotels in Geylang no longer allowed to rent out rooms by the hour.

6. Sex not one of the 5 C's.

5. Oral sex still illegal in Singapore.

4. SPGs only go for foreigners.

3. Kiasi - don't want to get AIDS

2. Amended Women's Charter can bankrupt adulterous men.

And (drumroll)... the number one reason why there are no sex scandals in Singapore...

1. Still confused over condoms and condos.

[Cue music, "Material Girl"]

THE END

Contributed and Written by Gabriel "Loco Lobo" Goh