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How to Be a Real Man

A new 2-year degree is being offered for men at UNIVERSITY that many of you should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN. It aims to impart the basic skills required of men living in the 21st century and thus crams a lifetime of knowledge into a mere 2 years.

FIRST YEAR

Fall Schedule

MEN 101	Combating Stupidity
MEN 102	You Too Can Do Housework
MEN 103	PMS - Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104	We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas (Exceptions included)

Winter Schedule

MEN 110	Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111	Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
MEN 112	Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
EAT 100	Get a Life, Learn to Cook

Spring Schedule

MEN 120	How NOT To Act Like an Asshole When You're Wrong
MEN 121	Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122	Reasons to Give Flowers
ECON 001A	What's Yours is Half Hers

SECOND YEAR

Fall Schedule

SEX 101	You CAN Fall Asleep Without It
SEX 102	Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
MEN 201	How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 201	How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

Winter Schedule

MEN 210	The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 212	How Not to Act Younger Than Your Children
MEN 212	You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise - Especially Naked
MEN 230A	Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are Important

Spring Schedule

MEN 220	Omitting @%~&*! From Your Vocabulary
MEN 221	Fluffing the Blanket After Farting is Not Necessary
MEN 222	Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223	Thirty Minutes of Begging is Not Considered Foreplay

Course Electives:

EAT 101	Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103	Burping and Belching Discretely
MEN 231	Mother-in-Law
MEN 232	Appear to be Listening
MEN 233	Just Say Yes Dear
ECON 001B	Cheaper to Keep Her

THE END

Contributed by Mike

[ About | Home | Musings | S.N.E. | Gallery | Contributions | Poetry | Email ]