Medical Degrees for Sale!

by mrbrown@mrbrown.com

(Feel free to distribute for non-profit and non-commercial purposes but keep my byline, email address and URL intact please. Thanks)

Are you tired of working like a dog and making little money?

Did you like to play doctor and nurse in your childhood?

Are you sick of telling people that you are not a real doctor but you play one on TV (as the orderly in My Grandson The Doctor)?

We can help you fulfil your dreams!

Yes! You can have your very own career as a certified doctor! It does not matter if your highest academic qualifications are O/N/A Level, Mono 8, Poly, NUS or NTU, we can make you a REAL DOCTOR!

With our special Hocus Bogus(TM) Doctor Kit, we can provide the necessary papers that certify you as a real medical degree holder! Whether you have been forced to quit med school over alleged gay photos, or you have taken biology only at Sec 1 and 2, our carefully created Medical Degrees will give you the edge that you need!

Our degrees are modeled after reputable universities overseas and can pass muster at any local hospital. Choose the U of your choice! Available in many colours and comes with gold embossing! Call now and we will even throw in a white lab coat, University bumper sticker and working stethoscope! It's an offer you cannot resist!

Before long, you will be taking temperatures, issuing Panadols for all ailments (like they do in that drama series "My Grandson the Medical Officer in the Army") and even prescribing Medical Certificates for more money and profit! And then you can even start buying that favorite Merc or Beemer for yourself and park at handicapped lots (made easier with our Handicap stickers and "I Give to Charities so I Can Park in This Damn Handicap Lot" sticker, sold separately).

We can also provide specialist degrees at special prices for our graduands. Got a fetish? Become a gynaecologist or a proctologist! We can help you deal with assholes!

Do not be fooled by fakes. Ours are the only Hocus Bogus(TM) Doctor Kit! Only ours come with the bumper sticker, lab coat and stethoscope and a Exercise video to give you the Abs you need for this demanding career! Learn demanding surgical techniques and play the ukelele in two hours too! The video also covers exciting topics like the Reproductive System, with real life demos!

Listen to what our satisfied customers have to say!

"I used to be a real dork with first aid but now I can be a real dork with medicine and make obscene amounts of money while being incompetent! Thanks Hocus Bogus(TM)!" -- Dr M C Fakir

"After years of looking at naughty pictures in my brother's magazines, I can finally see the real thing in the name of science! I can't thank you enough!" -- Dr Moe Lester

"What can I say? From a professional debt-collector to a doctor in 2 weeks! I can now play golf and claim huge expense accounts on public money!" -- Dr Lim Ah Seng

"The ghost of my late pet hamster has always wanted me to help people and cure them, I hear his voice said so. I have done so many operations on my barbie dolls and soft toys, now I can operate on real people! Real blood and organs! I can't believe it myself, it's like a dream come true! I really (the rest in unintelligible tongues and foaming)..." -- Dr C Reel-Kheeler

So what are you waiting for? Call us at 1800-BOGUSDOC right now and make that change in your life! Call within the next 30 minutes and we will even throw in a free booklet of Medical Certs! Have your credit card ready and we will send your order within a week! All it takes is 18 easy payments of $399.99! Call now!

Hocus Bogus(TM) -- Med-School-in-a-Box!!!

P.S. If you still don't get it, not long ago, there was a guy who passed himself off as a doctor in local government hospitals. This went on for the longest time. Nobody noticed until he asked for a transfer...

All fan mail and soft toys may be directed at mrbrown@mrbrown.com

Other writings may be found in the Website "BrownTown" at http://www.mrbrown.com