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Top Ten List:
Don't Be Honest, Be Happy

Top Ten Ways the $1700 Magnetic Mattress has changed your life.

People apparently are paying up to $1700 for mattresses with magnets in them which are supposed to be good for their health. Well after 4 weeks with these latest health accessory, we asked the users of the Magnetic Mattresses, "how has it changed your life." Here are their answers.

Heeeeeeeere we go,

10. Made those chains and handcuffs evenings more challenging.

9. In the event of a police raid, can quickly throw all those diskettes with pictures you downloaded from cyber.porn.girls.girls.girls on the bed and erase them.

8. Never need to worry about running out of refrigerator magnets.

7. Had to get rid of the ceiling fan as it was threatening to come down on the bed.

6. The compass in your car no longer points north... it points at you.

5. You have a growing collection of paper clips you "picked up" from the office.

4. You've grown more attached to various household appliances.

3. You now know instinctively where North is.

2. People have found you more attractive these days.

And (drumroll).... the number one way the $1700 magnetic mattress has changed your life...

1. During moments of intimacy, your wife always has to face South.

[Cue music, Theme from "Northern Exposure"]

THE END

Contributed and Written by Gabriel "Loco Lobo" Goh

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