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Top Ten List:
One Flu Over the Chicken's Nest
From the Home Office in Hong Kong where everything's gone wrong, here's tonight's Top Ten List.
Top Ten Signs you may be suffering from the dreaded Chicken Flu.
As a public service announcement, sometime last year we put out a top ten list of symptoms of the Mad Cow Disease. So from the same people who brought you that top ten list, here's the slightly revised, blatantly imitated, and mostly unoriginal top ten signs you may be suffering from the dreaded Chicken Flu.
10. Every time you sneeze, you find feathers in your tissue.
9. You wear an egg timer on your wrist
8. Whenever a waiter asks you how you like your eggs, you say, "laid."
7. You have an irresistible urge to peck at things.
6. You have recurring nightmares about a stocky, white-haired gentleman with a goatee and a white suit saying, "lick my finger, go ahead, lick my finger".
5. You purposely flunk all your tests just so you can see the big red zero on the top of your paper.
4. You have a pathological phobia of the letters C, F, and K when they are arranged in a specific order.
3. You wake up at 4.30 am, with your arms flapping, and then you burp very long and very loudly.
2. People call your handwriting chicken scratching.
...and (drum roll)... the number one sign that you may be suffering from the dreaded chicken flu...
1. Your pay is chicken feed.
[Cue music, "Wind Beneath My Wings"]
THE END
Contributed and Written by Gabriel "Loco Lobo" Goh
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