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Top Ten List:
When ERP Burps

From the Home Office at Sin Ming, here's the Top Ten List.

Top Ten Signs You may have a Faulty IU in your car.

People still refer to the In-vehicle Unit of their car as the "ERP device". Perhaps IU is just not a juicy enough acronym. After all, all the good acronyms have 3 letters in them. So you might wonder, why not IVU? Perhaps there were some concerns about confusing IVU with IVF, and then car owners might inadvertently have a fertilised egg implanted in the exhaust pipe of their BMWs. Nine months later, a BMW motorcycle is born. Then the car owner decides to correct the error by installing the IUD or Intra-Uterine Device instead of the IU.

Anyway for those who managed to install their IU correctly, the LTA has announced that some of the units are faulty. So you're going to have to do it again. Perhaps ERP stands for ErRor Prone. So how do you know if your IU is faulty? Check out the signs.

Heeeeeeeere we go,

10. When you insert a cashcard, your radio will only play, "My Heart Will Go On".

9. Each time you pass under an ERP gantry, you lose ten minutes, during which you might possibly have been abducted by aliens.

8. Your GSM 1800 phone behaves like a PCN phone while in the vehicle.

7. Your cashcard has been increasing in value every time you pass a gantry.

6. Your Ferrari now performs like a Vivio.

5. Your Vivio now cannot start.

4. After you insert the cashcard, the little display reads, "1 Credit. Push 1P or 2P to start."

3. Your car has started talking to you.

2. While driving down Orchard Road, you keep running into icebergs.

And (drumroll...) the number one sign your IU may be faulty

1. Your car's pregnant!

[Cue music, "Bad" - Michael Jackson.]

THE END

Contributed and Written by Gabriel "Loco Lobo" Goh

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