Top Ten List:
The ERP Files

From the Home Office at the Dept of Nuclear Medicine, here's the Top Ten List.

Top Ten documented side effects of the ERP Gantries.

Have you wondered how those ERP gantries signal to your IU? Just how strong are those signals? We worried about handphone emissions, what about ERP signals? With all those electro-magnetic radio waves bouncing around, are we all going to get brain tumours 10 years down the road? Or is the problem more serious? Before you go driving merrily through those ERP gantries check out this list.

Heeeeeeere we go,

10. You have acquired a compulsive urge to re-slot the cash card every now and then just to see the value remaining.

9. You're starting to think about going The Full Monty.

8. No matter how you comb your hair, by the time you get to the officer, it looks like Don King's.

7. On your way back from the supermarket, all the frozen food gets thawed.

6. Your dream is to take up cross-dressing and Thai boxing.

5. You think that EMAS is money well spent.

4. You've started laughing at TCS sitcoms.

3. You suddenly know how to speak Sumerian-Aramaic.

2. You feel intense gratitude to the PAP for the wonderful job they have done to make Singapore a better place, and will definitely vote for them in the next election... and you're Tang Liang Hong's wife!

And, (drum roll)... the number one side effect of the ERP gantries...

1. You become poorer!

[Cue music, "(You may be right) I may be crazy".]

THE END

Contributed and written by Gabriel "Loco Lobo" Goh